Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here. Suppose your relationship with extended family is often messy and difficult. In that case, I want to pause a moment and acknowledge that being disappointed by this – though perhaps common and even joked about frequently in the media – is still a painful reality. Just as you entered into marriage with expectations about what life with your sweetie would look like, you likely also had expectations for what your relationships with extended family would look like. If these relationships are not what you or your spouse hoped they would be, that is real grief to process. It is SO important to make attempts to untangle and understand our own emotions and internally analyze where our own hearts are BEFORE we begin the work of looking outwardly at complicated relationships and other complex humans.
8 Tips for handling in-laws
The age-old conflict between in-laws and their children’s partners has hardly changed at all over time. The reason for this timeless struggle is explained well by Dr. Gottman, a well-known and accoladed pioneer in the relationship therapy world: “Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience regardless of whether people are from different or the same cultures. They come from different families, and the family they create is a brand new culture that has never existed before.“ Have grace for yourself as you navigate your in-law relationship, for good or for bad. Learning how to deal with difficult family members, or ones that are wonderful, as well as your in-laws, is a lesson nearly every married couple anxiously navigates, and it CAN GO WELL! Let’s dive into some practical tips that can help you navigate the relationship with your in-laws and in-law family members.
A Happy, Functional In-law Relationship
Dealing with difficult in-laws allows us to exercise our growth as relational humans. What kind of person do you want to be? That standard you’ve set for yourself is bound to be more challenging when put up against someone who frustrates, challenges, or confuses you. Let this situation be a workout for you! Make intentional efforts to move forward with each step better than the last. Strained relationships do not often manifest perfection overnight, but I believe constant effort and positivity will always bring about gradual change toward our goals. Wishing you the best as you work to navigate the relationship with your in-laws. You got this! Article resources: How to Navigate the Holidays With Your In-Laws by The Gottman Institute How Healthy Couples Deal With Their In-Laws by Psych Central In-Laws, Not Outlaws by The Dating Divas How to Deal with In-laws by SheKnows 10 Basic Rules for Dealing With In-Laws by Family Education Laurie Rozakis, PhD Podcast resources: Boundaries: What to Say to Your MIL by Mika Ross; Therapist & Relationship Coach Dealing with Difficult In-Laws by Dad Tired (faith-based) Grandparents Weigh In: Cultivating Gracious Family Relationships by RisenMotherhood (faith-based)
